5 Habits of Healthy Couples From Our Team

By Michelle Button, LCSW-R, PMH-C

In the beginning of a relationship, everything feels new and exciting! So many “firsts” together as a new couple, getting to know each other and falling in love. 

Over time, relationships tend to get more challenging. That wonderful crush feeling typically subsides, life gets busy and we tend to not work as hard to make our partner happy. 

The good news is, there are so many things we can do to nurture our relationship with our partner. It just takes some time and intention. Studies show that being part of a healthy relationship has all kinds of great benefits including lower rates of anxiety and depression, stronger immune system, increased self-esteem and greater empathy for others.

Here are 5 Habits of Healthy Couples:

1. Trust

   It may sound obvious, but a strong foundation of trust is essential in any relationship. If a couple does not have trust in each other, it will have a negative impact on the other healthy aspects of a relationship. 

   There are many factors that can influence trust in a relationship. Dependability in a relationship is when your partner has been consistent in their actions and behaviors over time. This allows one to trust that their partner will continue to honor their word and follow through. Faithfulness is another factor that can increase trust over time. When a partner displays faith, not just in fidelity, but displaying loyalty and commitment it increases connection and trust over time in healthy relationships.
   

2. Respect

   Respect is another cornerstone of a healthy couple. Most partners differ from each other in various ways. How we appreciate our differences, leads to a deeper respect in our relationships. Doing things to make our partner feel valued, showing interest in their life and really listening when they speak, are all great ways to build mutual respect in relationships. 
   

3. Communication

   I know this one sounds like a cliche, but communication is key! If you and your partner cannot express your feelings and needs, you will continue to hit roadblocks along the way. Conflict and disagreement are parts of any relationship, what truly counts is how you work through and resolve conflict together. If you were not raised in a family where healthy communication was displayed, it is quite possible you never learned how to effectively communicate your feelings. When partners shut down or avoid conflict, it typically only makes things worse as the feelings continue to build up over time. 

   Healthy communication takes practice. It might be scary to share your true feelings with your partner out of fear of being judged or rejected. Over time, the more you can have faith and trust in your partner, it makes it easier to communicate your thoughts without fear. 
   

4. Quality Time

   Life can be so busy between work, kids, social activities and family commitments. Often, couples put their needs on the back burner, not realizing how disconnected they have become. Making your partner and relationship a priority is non-negotiable!

   Quality time does not have to be fancy or expensive. It can simply be having coffee together in the morning or taking a walk after dinner. Healthy relationships often have a good balance of time together as a couple and time outside the relationship for self-care as well.   

   Ideally, you and your partner will have a good mix of things you enjoy doing together, with a nice dose of compromise built in. Taking turns planning events to do together is a great way to mix it up and try new things together.
   

5. Intimacy

   Physical and emotional intimacy are another essential part of healthy relationships. Intimacy goes beyond a couples sex life. It includes anything that can help you feel close and connected to your partner. Physical touch, cuddling, sharing on a deeper level are all ways to foster intimacy with your partner. Making time for intimacy can be challenging for couples, especially if you are parents and don’t get a lot of alone time. Finding creative ways and times to sneak in time for each other can be part of the fun!

Although there are many factors and habits that go into having a healthy relationship, these are some of the more essential habits that we discuss in our work with couples at Passages. 

Couples therapy can be a great way to work on all of the above aspects of relationship building and foster a deeper level of communication and connection with your partner.